A lot of things had been happening in my life....and it really impacted me a lot....
My grandma had been feeling pain in her body the past 2~3 months, since end of July...been through many checkups and scans...still the hospital had not been able to find the cause till recently...
Yesterday the doc told us that grandma had cancer at many parts of the body...mainly her spine bone, lungs and liver....yesterday after hearing the news....I cried...since it was raining yesterday night, I went down and had a shower...with tears in my eyes and the rain pouring on my face...I haven cried for a long time...but upon the news of my grandma with cancer...I just could not take it....I held my front infront of my parents and sister...till they went to bed, I went down...it was cold...and windy...but the pain is much worst....
Today, I went to hospital around 12 noon to visit my grandma again...least she is feeling better now and eating more...guess those painkillers worked for her now...den around 2.45pm, the cancer doctor came...too bad I was at the vending machine playing with my handphone while getting some drinks, so never chat with him...and after a while, my mum called me and told me wat the doc had said...my grandma had the 4th stage of cancer...it mainly began with her lungs which spread to her bone and liver...and 2 months ago, her liver scan had no indication of any signs of cancer...it spread so fast....just too fast....den mum said that the doc told her my grandma had around 1 month to live...and max 3 months...den my mum started crying through the phone...
After ending the conversion with my mum...I continued to play games on my handphone....tears started swelling up my eyes...slowly flowing down my cheek...the memories of my grandma since I was young just came flowing through my mind...at that moment, tears just flowed....on and on with my memories and sadness...a knife cutting through my heart....just so suddenly....
Later that evening, my other relatives came...we had a discussion with the cancer doctor who told us the whole story and what we can do....He mention that Chemotherapy will be too strong for her and there is strong side effects...furthermore my grandma is having last stage of cancer...so it will only lengthen her life by just a few months....he also suggested doing radiotherpy just to easen the pain for my grandma...and after that find a hospice to let her rest...therefore we listen to the doc's advise...try to let her feel as comfortable as possible...for this 1~3 months....
I've decided to cancel the trip to Perth...so sorry I can't go last min...I wish I can be there but...I know you will understand rite...maybe will go next year around June if possible....
Anyway...I just feel so tired now...I'm also feeling chest pain right now as I'm typing...with tears in my eyes...just feel so tired and strengthless....
11:35 PM;
~ Dreaming Away ~
-=|Lubin|=-
~ From the Beginning till the End ~ Dreaming, Forgotten, LOST.
